She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
