Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
