i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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