something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
