thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
