yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
