HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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