While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
