I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
