almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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