just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
