He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
