I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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