We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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