No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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