She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
