I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
