Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
