Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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