he shaved USA in his pubs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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