i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
