There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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