call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
