Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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