i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
