It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
