Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
