Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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