My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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