Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
did i just pee glitter
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
