MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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