There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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