A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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