I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
too bad you live with your parents still
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
