i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
