Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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