if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You took a bar mat shot.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
