Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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