i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
