found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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