So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
