I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
