whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
