i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
