forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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