he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
