You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
