So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So vagazzling was a success
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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