I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
