just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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