There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we have pet lesbian snakes
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
