We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
